Screaming at Your Toddler, How I Blew My Lid & Why I Want to Wine About It

The lid was blown. I had had enough. It was only 9:05am.

But, we were late to daycare. I called to make sure they would still provide breakfast. Breakfast usually ends at 9:20am. We just left the house. Daycare is a 10-15minute drive from the house.

The lid was blown. I had had enough. It was only 9:05am.

But, she was so cranky this morning. Getting dressed was a disaster. Brushing hair was brutal. Eating fruits and taking vitamins was on a whole new level of bad behavior.

The lid was blown. I had had enough. It was only 9:05am.

Did I mention it was only 9:05am?

But, from 6:45am – 9:05am there was whining, squirming, misbehaving, screaming, crying … Did I leave out any other naught –ing words?

Oh, and, a female-favorite, changing her opinion.

So, YES at 9:05am, in route to daycare, after barely leaving the house and being on the road for all of two minutes, during which time she asked – correction: whinnied and cried – for her pink bag, which she had dropped to the floor at the start of our journey. In between explaining to her that mommy cannot stop the car until we get to day care, she decided to get on another rant involving asking – correction: whining and crying – for me to turn on / turn off “ballet music” (it’s what she calls the classic station).

SCREAM!!!!

The lid was blown. I had had enough. It was only 9:05am and I screamed at my daughter in a voice and tone I don’t even use on adults.

She quietly whimpers. I quietly drive in shame.

Screaming at your toddler leads to nothing. It’s a fool’s tool to get children to stop whatever it is we want them to stop. And, it doesn’t usually work. It might scare them, shock them or both. But, it teaches nothing of substance.

I’m all for using a slightly harsher tone, but screaming is low brow. I don’t do anything to my children that I don’t want them to do to me or others, i.e. screaming or spanking.

My normal response in hard-to-handle, where-is-my-eject-button situations it to talk through it, raise my voice just enough to create a change, and state that there will be a punishment if the action doesn’t stop. Punishment usually involves sitting in “the cage” until I feel they have learned their lesson, apologized, and explained why they were punished.

Side bar: “the cage” is actually a 3ftx3ft area we created from colorful playpen walls used to keep kids in a set, safe place.

Where was I, oh, yes, screaming and blowing my lid!

Another tactic I use to avoid going off the rales, is singing.

I find it helpful to sing really ridiculous songs, while my toddler (or toddlers, if they are double teaming me) is crying or making ridiculous demands in a whining voice.

Sanity songs of choice include: Katy Perry Roar, Dolly Parton 9-to-5, and Chicago’s Cell Block Tango

She had it coming … She had it coming … She had it coming all along … If you’d have been there, if you’d have seen it … I betcha you would have done the same …

Oops, sorry. Back to 9:05am.

It was 9:05am. I’m only human. Okay, I’m a mom, so I’m actually super human. But, even super humans have lids that sometimes burst.

To all the moms that have blown their lids, I feel you. We are on a crazy journey. Some days our kids are angels, other days they are monsters. Some days we sing. Some days we scream. But, every day truly is a blessing!

Oh and TODAY is National Drink Wine Day.

Blow off some steam over a glass of your choice. I’ll  be enjoying a sweat Moscato from Bartenura.

If you’re up for a chat, let’s tweet while we drink. Join me from 9 – 9:30pm to talk about toddlers, tantrums and how we deal with crazy mornings! I’m @PamelaPekerman and the hashtag will be #WineandScreams … get it wine and scream … wine and cheese … whining and screaming

Always Be Your Best You Pamela Pekerman Signature

 

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