Mom Musings: Working Mom vs. Stay-at-Home Mom, or both?

I don’t want to be a stay-at-home mom – it’s just not for me, and I’m Okay with that realization. I spent enough time judging myself over wanting to work, and I’m done with that negative dialogue.

But, here’s the shocker — after devoting the past year to my babies, I’ve discovered that I can’t just walk back into my previous life. In fact, I’m perfectly happy to give up chasing certain goals, all-be-it temporarily, in order to be more present for the only-gunna-happen-once moments … like Ilana’s first attempt at snow angels, which just happened an hour ago!

So, how do I marry my love for full-time(ish) motherhood with my passion for entrepreneurship without becoming a cliché of a woman that feels torn from one thing or another, at any given time? Because, I have to be honest, I can’t stand when I hear women complaining at work that they miss kids or are with kids complaining they miss the work force. Life is brief gift. If you aren’t happy, take steps (no matter how small) to improve your situation. Me, I  want to make an effort to create a system that melds all my worlds together. And while I’m all about rosy glasses and perfect, positive thoughts, I’m walking into this plan with the sober knowledge that it’s never going to be perfect. Life will be messy and complicated. Baby sitters will flake out. A project will be canceled. Money may be lost. Moments may be missed.

I spent much of my flight home from Switzerland, last Sunday, contemplating the possible options for the next phase of my life.

As I learned the hard way when I leaped back into work after Ilana was born, in order for mom to work (in ANY capacity), the foundation (aka baby coverage, orderly home, food in fridge, meal on table, etc.) needs to be solid.  Above all else, one needs ORDER and ORGANIZATION, which aren’t my strongest characteristics. On the positive side, I am getting better with each child. I can only image how fabulous I’ll become at juggling when I have three or four (oh, yes, I want more!) kids. But, I digress.

I don’t know how some of my 30-something peers do it, it being this thing we call life as a mom. Below, is how I plan to tackle my weeks, at least in the near future, in the hopes of fulfilling all my needs. Wish me luck!

  1. Hire extra help 3x per week (Tuesday, Thursday, Saturday )
  2. Tuesday and Thursday are work days. Close the bedroom door and only pop out for occasional cuddles and love. Also, use these days to schedule all meetings/previews in the city.
  3. As much as possible, avoid working on Monday, Wednesday and Friday. Commit to being all-in with the kids. If needed, blog before 7am or after 8pm. Avoid scheduling important work calls, unless the other side doesn’t mind hearing David laughing.
  4. Monday, Wednesday and Friday are devoted to David and home-related errands, which are ALWAYS piling up – laundry, grocery shopping, cleaning, ordering gifts for other kid bday, confirming plans and baby coverage for weekend if needed, cooking, researching new developmental toys, creating clever at-home activities, planning Ilana’s 2nd bday …
    1. While David takes nap #2,  go to the gym, shower, have lunch, maybe check emails
    2. Every other Friday, take David to visit great-grandma in Brooklyn
    3. Meaningful Me Moments – mani, pedi, wax, tea time, journaling
  5. Create a dump list Sunday evening and allocate tasks for each day. Keep all info in Erin Condren Life Planner. Don’t overcommit, to avoid being overly disappointed. Remind yourself that you have two little kids in the house and things don’t always go according to plan. Case in point, if the nanny doesn’t make it tomorrow because of what might be the BIGGEST BADDEST snow storm ever in NYC, I can’t attend the Fashion Group International’s Rising Star Awards. C’est la vie.

To all the moms trying to figure it all out, here’s to becoming better jugglers. If you have any tips, I’m always happy to hear from you. Find me on Twitter, Instagram and Facebook.


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